Category Archives: Other

She wasn’t ignorant of the circumstances. Soon after her diagnosis, she started writing. She didn’t have much time. Certainly not enough. So she wrote. Letter after letter. It was what she was made for. The wisdom she had intended to pass on could no longer be given in person. So she wrote. Her love pushed her on, even in her final months. The handwriting became shakier, the letters shorter, but, nevertheless, she wrote. She wrote for us. We were too young; we couldn’t possibly understand everything she had to tell us. Some letters were saved for certain landmarks in our lives. Graduation. Marriage. Children. Others were for when the time was right. Dad knew what to do with them. And, when she passed on, we began to open them. Slowly. There are still many left inside the fireproof box she filled. Many I have yet to see. I can be patient. It was what she intended.

Today, I found my response. I didn’t realize that I was looking for one. Now, it’s clear that I was. I didn’t write it. I wish I did. Yet, in a sense, I think I have. Sitting outside, staring at the stars. It’s not like she can hear, but I talk anyway. She’s in a better place; the things of this earth are the least of her concerns. I guess it’s for me, not her. And, of course, God listens in. We talk. He listens. He comforts. I’m not crazy. I just miss her. She would understand. This sums it all up, though. Every thought, every feeling, every emotion. For all the letters, here is mine.

Dear Mom,

It’s been eleven years since I saw you
Since I said goodbye to
Everything I knew
I thought that day would never come
Well, I guess that I was wrong cause
It’s already come

I miss the smiles I miss the laughs
Sometimes I wish that things could just go back
To the way they used to be
When you were with me

Take me back to all those times
That we knew back before
When we were running we were playing
And we still knew nothing more
The innocence we had could never last forever
And mommy look at what I learned to play today
Do you think that I’ll be famous one day
When you see me now I hope I make you proud

So I’ll spread these wings and try to fly
And if I fail at least you know I tried
I hope that I make you proud
Even if I fall

It’s time to say goodbye it’s now or never
It has to end somewhere nothing lasts forever
I loved you then I still love you now
And I know nothing ever changed it
No, not then, not now

Life can change so suddenly
So thanks for taking care of me
I hope that I make you proud

Much Love,
Your Son

“Proud” by The Icarus Account. Edited for context.
Click here to listen.