Author Archives: Colby Davis

I don’t really know where I’m going with this post. I might not even post it. But I need to collect my thoughts. So here goes.

I think I put my hope in the wrong things. A lot. I mean, let’s be honest; it’s not that hard. For example, I put my hope in my finances all the time. And why not? It’s going to be a physical sustainer for the entirety of this life; it’s natural to put my hope in my income. And I’m sure that the more you have, the easier that is. Another example of poor hope placement, one that, whether you’ll admit it or not, all of you can relate to: relationships. I’m talking all kinds. Some of you (and at points in my life I’ve been in this spot) are convinced that having more friends will make you a happier person. Truth be told, I’m much happier than I was a year ago, and I actually have fewer close friends (but I’m closer than ever to those I kept). And what of dating relationships? And marriage? I’ll be the first to admit to putting my eggs in that basket. Who doesn’t want to feel loved?

Love. That’s an interesting topic. Why do we crave love? I mean, crave it? We all do. Even the people who never talk to anyone outside of their families crave love; they just feel that their family’s love is sufficient. Then, on the opposite end of the spectrum, you have those who seek love from anyone and everyone. Some look for it in dating relationships, some look for it in having as many friends as possible, some look for it in physical regards… you name it. And you’ve probably been there. Actually, I promise you have. Haven’t we all? But you know what sucks? You know what really, really sucks? We all still feel empty. Completely empty. Don’t you feel it? I mean, as soon as one of those relationships that you’ve banked on so much collapses, suddenly your world falls apart. And you’re alone. All over again. Back at square one, right? You’ve been there. I’ve been there. I get it. And it hurts. It hurts a lot. You thought you had it together. You were happy. Things were going well. So well. And now it’s going up in flames, and it’s too late to save it.

Why do we do this to ourselves? Surely we don’t enjoy the pain. So it must be a result of the hope we have that that person or persons will make us happy. But it doesn’t take much time in this world to figure out that everyone is going to let you down at some point. Everyone. And it sucks. But we still do it. We still try over and over to find love in every category possible. It’s like we’re wired to or something.

Oh wait, we are. We’re built to love. Well that’s kind of cruel, isn’t it? What kind of God would embed something into us that is so horribly painful half the time? Why are we in endless pursuit of something that never fills us up as well as we hope for it to? Unless… unless there’s some kind of ultimate love. Like, we’ve just been loving the wrong person or something. But, if that was the case, then there would have to be someone who could never, ever let us down. Which is impossible. Right? I mean, everyone I know has screwed me over at one point or another, whether they meant to or not (most fall into the second category). But if we’re built to love, then we probably aren’t meant to give up on love, and therefore there has to be some kind of default love that is failsafe. A lot of you probably know where I’m going with this. But regardless of whether or not you do, you probably need to hear it as much as I do, so keep reading.

Perfect love. What a beautiful concept. We’d never be disappointed. Never hurt. Never left to the side. Never overlooked. We’d always feel it, always know of it, always return to it when we find ourselves broken and hurting. And the best part? It’s real. No, seriously, it exists. I know. Tuesday was one of a few different times in my life where I found myself sprinting back to it. Don’t get me wrong; it’s always been there. I just… forget. I convince myself I’ve found something better. And even as I sit here, this war wages on in my head. But I know the truth.

So what is it, you ask? Well, I’ll put it simply: the Creator who instilled this desire to love within your heart is the same being that deserves it. “We love,” explains 1 John 4:19, “because he first loved us.” Really. You were made to know God and love him. That is why you exist; it is the very essence of your being. Love between human beings exists so that we might be able to get the slightest grasp on God’s love for us. But, in my personal opinion (and I could be wrong here), it also exists so that we recognize how amazing it is that God, the God, actually loves us without fail. See, everyone else lets us down, even when we love them with every ounce of our being. But God doesn’t let us down. He never fails. Sounds crazy, right?

Okay, I agree, it does. How can God possibly love everyone? Really? That seems impossible. And trust me, I’ve struggled with this over the years. And, if you’ll allow the quick rabbit trail, I’ll explain why, simply because you’ve probably been there too. First of all, I’m a terrible person. This isn’t me beating myself up; this is a fact pulled straight out of Scripture. I am a horrible, sinful person. But you, my friend, are also a horrible, sinful person. You’ve done terrible things, some of which you may not have ever told a soul. And you know it’s true. We’re all terrible. Unspeakably terrible. So how could God love us? Second, I’m just one person. One. Who cares? Certainly not God. God spends time on people like Billy Graham. Not Colby Davis. But I’m forgetting something when I doubt God’s love for me.

You see, God is God. Think about it. The attributes of an all-powerful, all-knowing, all-loving God are way beyond what our finite minds can understand. Therefore, his capacity to love greatly exceeds our own. It also greatly exceeds our own understanding, for 1 John explains that God is love. It comes from him, and therefore it exists because of him. But it gets better. God’s love also exceeds how horrible we are. I’m preaching to the choir on this one, because I struggle to believe that on a day-to-day basis. But again, he’s God, and God is love. So he loves me. He loves you. It’s in his nature. That’s just what God does. So what?

Wait, “so what?” The greatest being known to mankind loves me, and that’s all I can come up with? “So what?” No. This changes everything. EVERYTHING. There has to be a reason for this. The God of the universe creates me, then chooses to love me even after I sin. So he sends his Son to live a perfect, blameless life that I in no way have the ability to live, then allows him to pay the ultimate punishment for all of the sins of mankind through death on a cross. And now he’s alive. He comes back three days later, conquering sin and death. My sin. My death. All on him. All taken care of. Now I’m free from sin.

But there’s more to it! I’m free to love. That ultimate love, that perfect love I was talking about? I have that now. And it doesn’t fail. That doesn’t mean my life gets better. It would be naïve of me to think so. After all, what is love without sacrifice? It’s hard. But it’s perfect. And the emptiness? It’s gone. I have what I was looking for. My purpose is being fulfilled, and I’ll never find anything that even comes close.

So let’s circle this ridiculously long conversation back around to a conclusion. Yes, I struggle. I get lonely. Empty. And so do you. But there’s a reason now, you see. It’s not because you don’t have enough friends, or a spouse, or money, or fame, or glory, or whatever else you’ve been pouring your entire existence into. It’s because you lost sight of ultimate love. The only love known to mankind that has never screwed anyone over. God’s love.

Where, then, do you put your hope? Ah, you thought I forgot that I started with hope. Well I did not. Where do you put your hope? And how’s that going for you? Are you happy? I mean, are you really happy? Because, truth be told, the only times you ever see me miserable are the times when I lose my focus. My hope is in Christ. Everything else has and will continue to fail me. And, to be honest, it’s been a hard week. It took me two days to write this blog post because I couldn’t work up the nerve to write the happy part Tuesday. Thankfully, I have good, godly friends who set my head on straight, but still, it’s been rough. And the only reason, I mean, the only reason I’m not sitting around sulking right now and instead am writing this post that only five people (give or take) will read is because I’m realigning my sights.

So I leave you with two things. First, as you know, I’m a music guy. So here’s a worship song. Honestly, I think a lot of popular Christian music out there is kind of awful, but this song not only sounds good; it’s also very real (and applicable, so go listen). Second, I’m going to leave you with a Psalm. If you’ve read it before, read it again. If not, please dissect this thing as much as possible. It’s beautiful poetry, but, much more than that, it’s truth. Real truth about real love. Oh, and one more thing. I understand that I’m not perfect. These are just the words of a frustrated college kid who needs to sort some stuff out. And while I probably didn’t spout heresy, odds are this isn’t the most theologically sound blog post you’ve ever read. Nevertheless, it’s from the heart. So, while you should take nothing but Scripture as ultimate truth, don’t pick this apart either. I don’t say that because I can’t take the insult (honestly I could use the criticism), but because there’s a greater subject at hand. You are loved. Now go love. Oh, and smile. :)

Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoezWBPGRAc

¹ I lift up my eyes to the hills.
     From where does my help come?
² My help comes from the Lord,
     who made heaven and earth.
³ He will not let your foot be moved;
     he who keeps you will not slumber.
⁴ Behold, he who keeps Israel
     will neither slumber nor sleep.
⁵ The Lord is your keeper;
     the Lord is your shade on your right hand.
⁶ The sun shall not strike you by day,
     nor the moon by night.
⁷ The Lord will keep you from all evil;
     he will keep your life.
⁸ The Lord will keep
     your going out and your coming in
     from this time forth and forevermore.

–Psalm 121 (ESV)

“Don’t panic.” Quite possibly the best advice to ever come from a sci-fi book series. And while The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy may indeed be a hilariously peculiar concoction, Douglas Adams actually was trying to get a point across in creating this recurring theme for the series. After all, what place does comedy have amongst anxiety? The best of comedians know that humor, almost without exception, is accompanied by the belief that everything will be okay. Worrying is for those who overestimate the importance of their lives. Perhaps, then, “don’t panic” might be more appropriately interpreted as “don’t take yourself too seriously.” So, don’t panic.

Okay, sounds nice, but easier said than done. I mean, come on. Money is tight, school is rough, church is intimidating, and, honestly, spiritual growth kind of sucks sometimes. I’m trying to mend relationships, disciple younger guys, gain wisdom, fight temptations, be a good steward, and then, of course, there’s this girl… yeah. It just feels like everyone is looking at me, watching, waiting for my next move.

Well, that’s how I felt a week or so ago. Now, not so much. “Be still,” the Lord commands, “and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations; I will be exalted in the earth!” (Psalm 46:10, ESV). Think about it; how many of the things I just listed are within my control? Maybe one or two. But even so: “Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?” (Matthew 6:26, NIV). You heard that right. God notices birds. Freaking birds. And I spent Monday in panic mode because I couldn’t afford to put gas in my car? Why? God provides for birds. I’m sure He has the simple ability to fill my gas tank.

But here’s the catch. Yes, He has the ability, but will He always? Doubtful. Does that mean we can panic now? I mean, if God isn’t providing… crap, we’re in trouble, right? Wrong again. We forget that God is also sovereign, which is just a fancy way of saying that He knows what He’s doing. “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future,’” (Jeremiah 29:11, NIV). I don’t know if you’ve figured this out yet (apparently I haven’t eiher), but God is God. I mean, THE God. God of the universe. The One who created the heavens and the earth back in Genesis. The One who developed this elaborate plan for the redemption of all mankind. This God we speak of is kind of an expert at being in control, because, well, he’s God. It’s really not that complicated for Him to take care of us. And, being omniscient (knowing everything), God’s definitely figured out what’s best for His kids.

So if your circumstances are out of your control, relax. Apparently God’s doing something intended to strengthen your faith. So praise Him for that! He’s simply trying to show how much He loves you. And, hey, if your circumstances are your own fault, relax. You can’t change what you’ve done already, so simply ask God for the wisdom and discernment to make the right decisions for said situation from here on out. And, since you’re seeking God’s will with sincerity, He will more than gladly grant you your request.

This is still easier said then done. It looks great on paper. But the fact of the matter is that I love convincing myself that my plans trounce God’s. Hold on though; where were my plans taking me anyway? I mean, my initial plans? Oh yeah, eternal separation from God. Might want to rethink that one then. Clearly, God has a much better plan for my life than I do. After all, He’s the one who created it.

My challenge to you, then, is the same one I’m issuing to myself: never, ever cease to remind yourself that God is in control. Your life is not your own. You, along with every single other human being on this face of this planet, were created to know God and glorify Him through that relationship. That is your purpose. That is why you exist. Straying from that will do nothing short of destroy you, because it breaks from your original design. But thankfully, if you have, God created this beautiful concept known as grace. All of God’s wrath, anger, and hatred toward sin and the sinful was poured out upon His Son, Jesus Christ, as He hung from a tree almost two thousand years ago for crimes He did not commit. He stood in your place and took your judgement. My place. My judgement. And now you and I stand blameless before an almighty God. Blameless. What we deserved? That’s something to panic about. But we’re free from that. Free from sin. Free from judgement. Free to know God. Free to love. Free to be loved. Morality, then, becomes a response to God’s grace and mercy and the freedom which He has given you. Affection for Him brings about an affection for things that represent Him: love, joy peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. I can go for hours on this, but you get the concept.

So now what? It’s simple. If you believe the promises of God, then what reason do you have to worry? None. He’s way better at this control thing than you. And, if you don’t believe said promises, I encourage you look into them, simply because, as I said before, you were made for this. You were made to know God. Check out the link I have in the right column entitled The Story for more detail if you like, but please, don’t simply brush this off. Ask questions, regardless of how odd they sound. There’s nothing wrong with seeking truth.

All that said, I find it hard not to praise God. He took over a life I was inevitably going to screw up. And, of course, not everything has gone according to plan. Not mine. But His plan is greater, and it goes way beyond the life of one American college student amidst seven billion other human beings. So relax! This isn’t about you anyway, and God knows exactly what He’s doing. So smile, and remember: don’t panic.

Our God is not merely a god of love, or of joy, or of peace. Our God is the singular source of each and every thing which may be considered good, or even perfect. We serve a God who cannot be described through our own simplistic words. They are not enough. He is God. The God. The ultimatum of all power and glory. And, when we approach Him, this should do nothing less than bring us straight to our knees in a state of fear, awe, and surrender. And yet, this same God is a god of mercy. One who sends His only Son to bridge the gap between imperfection and perfection, between mankind and Himself. No greater love has ever been heard of, let alone attested to. And though we will never fully understand this God of whom we claim, we seek to know Him, to love Him, to serve Him. We earn not His favor; He grants it to us through the person of Jesus Christ in His infinite grace and mercy. This, friends, is the God we speak of. Whom, then, do you serve?

Some things aren’t going to make much sense. We just have to learn how to deal with that. And you know what? Sometimes, we aren’t going to like where we’re at. And we aren’t going to be satisfied with who we are. But, more often than not, that’s God’s way of reminding us that we have room to grow. We can react to that however we want, but it doesn’t change the fact that we still have room to grow. Welcome to life. It isn’t easy, it doesn’t make sense, and we aren’t in control. Thankfully, God is. So let go of yourself. Because this really isn’t about you.

Okay. Let’s get something straight here. This is a seminary. The school I attend is composed of what very well may be the future leaders of the church as a whole in the United States, perhaps even worldwide. We are being trained by the best. The very best. And what do these men tell us? That we are here to do God’s work, and, more specifically, to train others to do God’s work. This doesn’t simply involve teaching; this involves leading by example. So here’s the question of the day: WHAT example? Is this the best we can do? Are you serious? Because all I’m seeing from myself is a bunch of frivolous attempts at getting by. Last I checked, the Scriptures don’t ask us to “get by.” Getting by is a load of crap. It also happens to be an expression I use on a day-to-day basis.

So let’s talk motives. Why are you here? Seriously, why are you here? Why am I here? I can promise you I’m not hitting the mark. Why? Because I look across the street at a public high school with over 2000 students, most of which are dying without a Savior. Across the street from a seminary. It’s the same trend throughout this entire town. And what are we doing? Nothing. We’d rather debate theology, or have guitar sessions by the gazebo, or lock ourselves in our rooms for whatever reason. We’d rather go to a restaurant and get the server we know because they go to seminary too instead of sharing with one who’s never heard the gospel. We’d rather spend a majority of our time and effort finding our future spouse, since that’s obviously what you do in seminary. Evangelism is for mission trips. Not for the people I’m physically surrounded by as I sit in this dormitory and they drive down Stadium. Deny this mentality all you want, but you know you have the same problem. How many lost people do you know in this town? There’s plenty of them, and it sickens me that ninety percent of the people I know down here are Christians. Don’t get me wrong, I love those people, but is that really a good example of being in the world?

Death to the Christian subculture (stole that one from Doc). It’s not doing us any good. No, we’re not supposed to be of the world, but we’re definitely in it. So we construct our own social groups that do “churchy things.” And what do we accomplish? Nothing. NOTHING. I’m going to leave the professor who said this nameless (I know I quote him a lot, but it was not Doc Reid): “The reality is that, if this school was really doing it’s job, Wake Forest wouldn’t have so many people who are dying and going to hell.” And there’s a lot. Fake Christianity has ruined this town. Or should I call it a city? It’s getting there. In 2007, Forbes Magazine listed it as the twentieth fastest-growing suburb in the United States, with a 73.2 percent population increase between 2000 and 2006. The estimated population is quickly approaching 30,000, and Wake County as a whole is the seventh fastest-growing in the US. And we’re sitting here being good little seminary students (or, in some cases, we can’t even say that).

Here’s the point. This semester has to be different, at least for me. I have at least five people who would say the same thing for themselves. And I’m willing to bet that you would too. Think about it. We, as a school, are in a position to change the world. I’m serious. I’m not saying this because I think the students here are the best things to walk this this earth. We aren’t. But we are in a prime position to have a significant impact. With the Triangle being as populated as it is, and with three major universities (Duke, UNC, and NC State), any major movement is bound to spread. The churches in this area are some of the best I have encountered, and, if we actually pooled our resources and went, as a body, out into this region, something serious could take place.

But we aren’t. So I’ve decided that this is the semester to change that. I’m not speaking for anyone else but myself. This semester, I change my outlook. My focus. My drive. And it’s going to be really hard. Anxiety is already on the verge of eating me alive. But something has to change. It has to. Because I refuse to keep up this mundane trend of doing the minimum to graduate that I seem to be stuck on. I’m not called to that. So, if you’re with me, do it. Don’t tell me, just do it. And, whether you’re in or out, expect to start hearing about it. This isn’t some crazy idea I concocted in church today; this is a result of much prayer and discussion with other guys (and girls) who are just as sick of the same crap. The semester starts Thursday. What are you going to do? Stick with what you have, or start pursuing something greater? Because, let’s face it. I’m going to need a lot of help, or I’m going to collapse. I’m way too weak to do this alone. Let’s do something amazing for God. For once.

“Now it happened in the month of Chislev, in the twentieth year, as I was in Susa the capital, that Hanani, one of my brothers, came with certain men from Judah. And I asked them concerning the Jews who escaped, who had survived the exile, and concerning Jerusalem. And they said to me, ‘The remnant there in the province who had survived the exile is in great trouble and shame. The wall of Jerusalem is broken down, and its gates are destroyed by fire.’ As soon as I heard these words I sat down and wept and mourned for days, and I continued fasting and praying before the God of heaven. And I said, ‘O LORD God of heaven, the great and awesome God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, let your ear be attentive and your eyes open, to hear the prayer of your servant that I now pray before you day and night for the people of Israel your servants, confessing the sins of the people of Israel, which we have sinned against you. Even I and my father’s house have sinned. We have acted very corruptly against you and have not kept the commandments, the statutes, and the rules that you commanded your servant Moses. Remember the word that you commanded your servant Moses, saying, “If you are unfaithful, I will scatter you among the peoples, but if you return to me and keep my commandments and do them, though your outcasts are in the uttermost parts of heaven, from there I will gather them and bring them to the place that I have chosen, to make my name dwell there.” They are your servants and your people, whom you have redeemed by your great power and by your strong hand. O Lord, let your ear be attentive to the prayer of your servant, and to the prayer of your servants who delight to fear your name, and give success to your servant today, and grant him mercy in the sight of this man.’”
Nehemiah 1:1b-11a, ESV